A Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to
write this all down
Finally, the guys' side of the story.
We always
hear "the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male's
side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all
numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full
moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of
it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable
answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if
you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are
for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months
is a Problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is
inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and
void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the
Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect
us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you
probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be
interpreted two ways and one of them
makes you sad or angry, then we meant
the other one
1. You can either ask us to do
something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it,
just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say
whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did
NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like
Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A
color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it
will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you
say "nothing," We will act like
nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just
not worth the hassle, besides we know
you will bring it up again later.
1. If you ask a question you don't
want an answer to, Expect an answer
you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere,
absolutely anything you wear is
fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking
about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the
shotgun formation,
or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind
that? It's like camping.
LOL =x
